My Midlife Transformation Didn’t Look Like Growth at First
Ever feel like you’re between chapters — not quite who you were, not yet sure who you’re becoming?
Like nothing is happening… but something is shifting?
Something beautiful happened at a recent Soulfull Tarot Numerology Hour you might recognize.
A wise woman shared — honestly, tenderly — about the changes happening in her life.
Her feminine cycle is ending. Her role as a mother — her biggest, most beloved creation — is shifting as her kids need her less. She’s not sure what she’s creating next.
Only that she feels like she’s in a cocoon… and nothing is happening.
And then, gently, another woman offered her this:
“Sounds like you’re in the hallway.” 🫥
Yep. The hallway. Not the room you left. Not the room you’re walking into. Just… the in-between.
And for so many of us in midlife, this is exactly where we find ourselves, and it feels like nothing is happening at all.
✦ Midlife Transformation: You’re Not Stuck — You’re in the Hallway
I know this hallway.
I’ve stood right in the middle of it — not knowing what was ending, not knowing what was beginning… just feeling the quiet unraveling of who I had always been.
In fact, I was in that exact space when I hired my very first coach.
I knew who I had been — Dr. Sue, physician, high achiever, the woman with a plan and a pace to match.
But something was shifting. Something was asking to be different. I just had no idea what “next” was.
So… I hired a coach.
And in one of our very first conversations, I said:
“All I know is I don’t want to do what you’re doing.” 😂
Coaching? Not for me. Absolutely not. Hard pass.
(We love personal growth… as long as it doesn’t require becoming a completely different version of ourselves, right? 😉)
My identity felt fixed. Certain. Done.
The hallway had other plans.
The hallway has a funny way of loosening your grip on what you thought was “you.”
And if you stay in that tender in-between space long enough… your identity expands in ways you never could have planned.
Fast forward — because life loves a good plot twist 🤭 — to my very first session with my very first coaching client.
The moment it ended, I texted that same coach:
“I LOVE this. This is ME. I’m a doctor, yes — AND I’m a coach.” 🥳
The joke, once again, magnificently on me.
And the laughter felt like… coming home.
The hallway isn’t where growth stops.
It’s where your old identity loosens…
and a new one begins to take root. 🌱
And just when I thought I understood the hallway… life gave me another version of it.
✦ Personal Growth Isn’t Always Productive (Sometimes It’s a Bus Ride)
The hallway doesn’t run on a schedule.
Sometimes it’s years — a slow, quiet unraveling of who you’ve been.
And sometimes… it’s a five-hour bus ride through the Costa Rican jungle. 😅
I arrived at that retreat ready on Day 1. The whole beautiful, productive transformation plan — journaling, meditation, yoga, breathwork, bring it! 💪
The Universe? Not impressed. 😂
Day 1 was… a L O N G G G G bus ride.
What should have been 2–3 hours turned into 5+ — because it’s Costa Rica. Jungle time. (And yes, people stop to watch crocodiles sunning themselves in the river 🐊 because… of course they do.)
There I sat.
No journal.
No breathwork.
No control.
Just a window. New friends 😁. And a life I couldn’t rush.
And the slow, humbling realization:
This too is personal growth.
Sometimes it’s the breathwork.
And sometimes… it’s the bus.
That bus ride reminded me:
There are seasons of growth. And the most misunderstood one? The hallway of winter.
✦ Personal Growth Seasons: Why the “Nothing” Season Matters
Just like plants, we are not meant to bloom all year long.
(Unless you’re a rose or an African violet — my grandmother’s and mom’s favorites. Clearly, they were training me to overachieve in the garden of life. 😅)
Growth isn’t linear. It’s seasonal. A spiral, not a straight line.
And the invitation?
To stop fighting the season you’re in, including the hallway of winter.
❄️ Winter — REST
You are resting — releasing the identity you’ve outgrown and remembering the truest parts of you that are never lost, no matter the season.
🌸 Spring — THINK
You are thinking differently — seeing yourself in a new way before you fully understand it.
☀️ Summer — FEEL
You are feeling it fully — living into who you’ve become and letting it be seen.
(This is the season Instagram was made for. It’s also the season we forget Winter exists. 😁)
🍂 Fall — DO
You are doing what matters — choosing what stays and what goes as you refine who you’re becoming.
Maybe you, like me, were taught to live in Summer… so when Winter comes, it feels like something is wrong. But…
Nothing is wrong. 🌳
You’re a tree in winter. Leaves releasing. Roots growing.
The hallway only feels hard when you think you’re supposed to be out of it already. So what if…
You’re not stuck, behind, or broken. You’re becoming.
Releasing an identity you’ve outgrown. Rooting into one that expands you even more.
And that becoming? It’s so much more beautiful when it’s witnessed. 💞
Because carrying this season alone is when the hallway feels darkest — and like it might never end.
Inside Soulfull Membership, we walk through this together — the identity shifts, the quiet becoming, the seasons that don’t look like growth but absolutely are. 🦋
✦ The Self-Trust Anchor That Carries You Through Change
In the middle of all that not-knowing — all that shifting, releasing, becoming — I kept coming back to one simple truth.
Not a role, a title, or something I had to earn.
Something I was born with — and something that can never be taken away, no matter the season.
When nothing feels certain, this is what I come back to:
