How to Make Letting Go Feel Less Scary
Like a smiling juggler skillfully tossing responsibilities in the air, I’ll admit – I thrive on variety. The thrill of balancing projects, parenting, patients, and passion projects all at once feels… fun! ☺️
It's as if I’m lassoing the universe, co-creating a life I love (and others love me for living!) 🤸🏽♀️🎉
That euphoria lasts… until the universe tosses just one more thing into the loop. (The flu, a hormone shift, or yet another family problem I “get to” solve.) Suddenly, all the balls I’m juggling come crashing down, and things get ugly.
Cue: anger, resentment, shame. 😓
Peek inside my head on those days, and it’s not pretty. My thoughts are like daggers, primarily aimed at myself: “Why can’t I handle this? What’s wrong with me? I can’t do this anymore!!!”
You, like me, probably know this feeling.
Frustration bubbles up, the last straw breaks, you’re out of patience, and your internal dialogue turns to molten lava. 🥵
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Crash-and-burn moments aren’t failures — they’re clues that one of your core needs has taken over, leaving the others unmet — and, so, you’re thrown off balance. 🤹💥
When you think of it this way, it makes so much sense!
The way to return to a state of peace? Read on because that’s what’s next…
✦ How to Make Letting Go Feel Less Scary
Here’s the thing: we all say we want peace. But our nervous systems cling to fear like a toddler to their blankie 🧸 — pry it away and cue meltdown mode.
Enter Human Needs Psychology — the theory that we all share the same six core needs, and that we each meet and prioritize those needs in different ways.
Here they are:
😌 Certainty: feeling safe, secure, and in control.
🤩 Variety: experiencing change, excitement, and surprise.
🥰 Significance: feeling unique, important, and worthy of love.
💞 Love + Connection: feeling unconditionally accepted and that you belong.
🌱 Growth: expanding emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
💝 Contribution: giving, serving, and making a difference.
Think of your core needs like six flavors of ice cream your soul craves.
Sometimes you’re all about chocolate (love + connection), but then stress hits and suddenly you want a double scoop of strawberry (certainty).
Every action you take in life is motivated by at least one of your core needs!
Like, let’s say you, like me, are a woman who loves diving into your side hustle because it’s exciting (variety), stretches you (growth), and when people cheer you on, you feel valued (significance). Hello, triple scoop sundae! 😋🍨
But, on the flip side, you loathe cooking dinner. It’s the same old kitchen with the same old boring ingredients and the same lack of applause. 🥱 Like, “When did I apply for the head chef position in this family?” (Spoiler: never. 😅) In this case, your core needs for variety, significance, and love are all being ignored, and your soul is like, “Order a pizza. I’m out!” 🚪💥
Meeting, or not meeting, your core needs is why some things feel energizing while others feel completely soul-sucking.
Your core needs are either being fulfilled 🥰 — or neglected. 🤕 When it comes to your daily quality of life, which needs you prioritize and which you neglect greatly matters. ✨
✦ Love or Control? The Choice That Changes Your Life
Here’s where letting go comes in.
The problem isn’t that you have needs. (We all do!) The challenge is how you get your needs met – from a place of fear 😓 or a place of love. 🥰
When you meet your core needs from a place of fear →
You might overthink, second-guess, play it safe, or chase perfect plans and foolproof outcomes. Fear whispers, “You’re not enough,” and suddenly you’re gripping for control over yourself, others, and everything around you.
And when you meet your needs from a place of love →
You may create growth, connection, and freedom. Love looks like trusting yourself, flowing with life’s timing, and surrendering with acceptance — knowing you’re whole, worthy, and always in charge of how you respond.
Take the core need of certainty, for example. Feeling safe and secure? Wonderful! 💛 But cling too tightly, and it’s like bubble-wrapping your whole life. Sure, nothing breaks… but nothing can breathe either. 😰
Letting go of fear-based ways to get your core needs met, can feel, well, scary.
This is because your brain thinks, “If I loosen my grip, everything will fall apart.” But usually? The opposite happens.
What if… you choose to trust that a loving force is co-creating life with you? Could you loosen your grip just a little — enough to let love sneak in? 🥰
Maybe love would…
🤭 Smile and laugh at life’s messy imperfections.
💞 Hold you with compassion.
🥰 Remind you you’re okay, even when you’re not in charge of everything.
📞 Invite you to call in support to feel, heal, and grow.
😌 Accept you don’t need to be perfect to be worthy.
The secret to a soulfull life isn’t gripping harder out of fear. It’s letting go and surrendering in trust, so that love, growth, and endless possibilities flow. 💫
✦ Living from Love: Discover and Fulfill Your Core Need
Life isn’t meant to be controlled by fear; it’s meant to be lived with love.
Truth is, we all naturally prioritize one or two core needs over the others — and that’s okay. Your goal isn’t to have all six core needs perfectly balanced all the time. (Let’s be real, who’s pulling that off? No one!) Instead…
As much as you can, become aware of how balanced your core needs are & how much you’re meeting them from a place of love, not fear.
When you let go of fear and allow yourself to gracefully flow between your core needs — letting them rise and fall with the seasons of your life — something beautiful happens. 🌷 Life stops being a frantic juggling act and becomes a joyful dance where love leads, contentment expands, and the little trials and troubles of the day greatly soften. 😌
So, how do you know which core needs you’re prioritizing, if any of them are being neglected, and if you’re getting them met from a place or fear of a place of love?
I’m so glad you asked! 😉
Because, obviously, you can’t let go of what you don’t even know you’re holding onto!
🗺️🧭 This is why awareness is the first step in so many of life’s journeys. Only once you know what’s really going on, can you take aligned action that shifts you from suffering to soulfull.
Having clarity on your own life matters! And it’s why you’re gonna want to take this quick, eye-opening quiz 👁️✨ — so you can shine a light on how your six core needs are impacting your life.
📋 Is Certainty clutching the clipboard?
🎉 Variety crashing the party with too much confetti?
🙋🏼♀️ Maybe Love + Connection is waving both hands, “Don’t forget about me!”
A fresh wave of game-changing insights is all yours, and it takes less than 10 minutes to get. ⏳
The only rule? Decide to let go of overthinking, second-guessing, and trying to ace it like a big, important test. This is about your gut, not your GPA. 😉 Your first answer? That’s the one to go with!
What’s waiting on the other side of this quiz? A whole lot of clarity! 🙌🏼
✨ Your 💛✨ Living from Love: Discover & Fulfill Your #1 Core Need Quiz Results Reveal:
✧ What your #1 core need is, right now.
✧ The undeniable logic behind the choices you make each day.
✧ How to meet that need with love (not fear).
