What Happens When Love and Money Test Your Abundance Mindset
When my husband and I first got married, our “money talks” felt a lot like two ducks getting in a squabble and then swimming off in opposite directions. 🦆🦆💨
He was the saver.
I was the spender.
Together, our money conversations created... friction. (The kind of tension that makes you want to grab your keys and ‘run an errand’ for three hours.)
Looking back, I can see we were yin and yang — balanced. But in the beginning? It felt like a tug-of-war I wanted to win. 🤭
Enter The Handbag Incident.
You know the one — that I’ll-show-you purchase made purely out of principle. “Can’t tell me what I can and can’t buy!” (Cue the defiant swipe of the Visa.)
I strutted home with that purse like I’d just won a trophy. Designer stunning and basically... never used. Hello guilt 😓 — and an expensive reminder that our squabble wasn’t even about money. Yikes. 🫣
If I had attended the Connected Conversations Workshop back then, I would’ve approached that money moment so differently.
I would’ve recognized my husband’s Detail-Dude nature — how his need to save was care, not control. His pause before spending was reflection, not resistance. And how financial harmony isn’t about winning — it’s about we-ing. 💞
It took a few more squabbles before I realized what was hiding underneath our money tension.
Eventually, it clicked: he’s the long game, I’m the leap of faith. Together, we’re not opposites — we’re teammates. Just two people learning how to play for the same side and make life a win-win together.
✦ Abundance Mindset: How To Turn Money Conflicts Into Connection
After the handbag dust settled (and I stopped hiding from the credit card bill), I realized something big:
In marriage, money rarely just means money. It’s tangled up with safety, control, freedom — and love. 💕
When you argue about spending or saving, you’re not really fighting about dollars. You’re asking deeper questions: Do you see me? Do you trust me? Do you value what matters most to me?
The moment you stop arguing about receipts and start talking about what’s really underneath — that’s where an abundance mindset can turn conflict into connection.
✧ Abundance Mindset: The Cup-Half-Full Lens
Abundance is about the quality of your life — the belief that you’re already living in a prosperous state, even as your net worth grows.
An abundant mindset shifts from what’s missing to what’s meaningful. It’s choosing to focus on what’s working, what’s growing, and what’s possible right now.
When you live in abundance, you…
😊 Appreciate the present moment — even if everything isn’t perfect.
🤗 Trust that more good is always on the way.
🥰 Make love-based decisions rooted in faith — not fear.
😌 See life’s “enoughness” instead of its lack.
✧ Scarcity Mindset: The Cup-Half-Empty Trap
By contrast, a scarcity mindset keeps you stuck in the gap between what is and what you think should be.
When you’re in scarcity, you…
😟 Worry about past “should haves” or future “what ifs.”
😣 Focus on what’s missing — the savings, the time, the validation.
😬 Make fear-based choices from anxiety or comparison.
🙁 Feel disconnected from joy — even when things are actually okay.
When you notice yourself slipping into scarcity, pause and ask, “What’s already abundantly here, right now?” 💖
That single question invites you back into peace, partnership, and possibility. Tension can soften, so you can stop seeing each other as opponents and start acting like partners.
Instead of tallying who’s right, you start asking:
⚖️ What feels fair?
🕊️ What brings peace?
💞 What aligns with the life we’re building together?
In real life, that might look like:
✈️ Saying yes to the vacation splurge — rest is an investment.
📐 Waiting a week before the big buy — let the Detail-Dude do his math.
💐 Seeing the “extras” — coffee dates, flowers, dinner out — as fuel for joy.
It’s not about who spends or saves more — or even who earns more or shares more. It’s about learning to appreciate the gifts each partner brings to the relationship.
One of you might bring structure and stability. The other brings spontaneity and spark. Together, you balance each other in ways that create something richer than either of you could build alone.
Curious what you bring to the table? Keep reading — there’s a fun quiz ahead that’ll help you uncover your unique money personality (and maybe explain why you and your partner handle money so differently). 😉💞
✦ Money Personalities: How to Understand Your Financial Harmony
Ever wondered how your personality impacts your wealth? Some (like my husband) save every pretty penny. Others (eh-hem 🙋♀️) love supporting the economy through a little retail therapy.
Whether you’re the spreadsheet queen or the “treat yourself” type, money can bring up big feelings — excitement, guilt, and, of course, worry.
Recently, I had the chance to chat with Forbes-recognized Top Women Wealth Advisor Melissa Joy on the Women’s Money Wisdom Podcast.
We went deep into all things money — like how to:
💖 Embrace your money personality
💬 Have open conversations about finances
🧠 Master your money mindset
💸 Thrive financially in midlife
🎧 Listen here: Episode 210: Navigating Motherhood, Mindset, and Money with Dr. Sue McCreadie
In our chat, I share how different midlife personality types approach money:
💼 Visionary Mamas are natural earners.
Money is opportunity — launching a side hustle, turning a hobby into income, or finally asking for that long-overdue raise.
What if they slowed down long enough to actually enjoy what they’ve built?
🌈 Inspirational Mamas spend to experience joy, beauty, or connection.
Money is expression and energy — booking that last-minute yoga retreat, buying the fancy candles, or treating a friend to brunch just because it feels good.
What if their enthusiasm could bring lasting joy, not just in-the-moment sparkle?
🫶 Giver Mamas spend to support others.
Money is love made visible — helping adult kids furnish an apartment, covering the family vacation deposit, or donating to a friend’s fundraiser (again).
What if they gave from overflow — not exhaustion?
📝 Detail Mamas are the natural savers.
Money is safety — they’re steady, dependable, and grounded, tracking every dollar with care.
What if they trusted that not every joyful moment needs to fit neatly in a budget cell?
Each personality brings unique strengths to the table — together, they create an abundant partnership.
So which Money Personality are you?
Take the Midlife Personality Quiz to find your match — and uncover your natural gifts, hidden challenges, and the soulful secrets to thriving in every area of your life (not just your wallet). 😉✨
Mastering your mindset (and your money) is a lifelong dance — don’t two-step it alone.
Midlife’s way more fun with a sisterhood that gets your radiant (and delightfully weird) rhythm. 🤣💃
Inside Soulfull Membership, we turn self-doubt into trust, scarcity into abundance, and overwhelm into ease — together. 💖
Come join us — we saved you a spot on the dance floor. ✨
xo,
P.S. If this made you smile, think, or whisper “ohhh… THAT’S me,” share this dose of Soulfull Medicine. Midlife gets a whole lot easier (and more abundant) when we rise together. ✨💞
